My Trek of the Stars, Part 12: The Conscience of the King

Guest Starring: Arnold Moss, Barbara Anderson, William Sargent, Natalie Norwick, David Troy, Karl Bruck

First, the Lowdown: Kirk discovers a local thespian is Hitler-riffic.

A dagger descends on a sleeping man, but it’s okay because it’s all part of a play (either it’s Macbeth or Ed Gein: the Musical). In the audience, Kirk and another man watch intently – Kirk’s digging on the lead man’s ability, but his neighbor is convinced the actor is Kodos: The Executioner (as opposed to Kodos: The Barbarian; Kodos: The Destroyer; or my favorite, The Savage Sword of Kodos).

Kirk is rather put upon by the accusation – seems that the Enterprise was diverted to Planet Q (a planet in such a pain in the ass part of the galaxy, they didn’t even give it a proper serial number) because of a discovery of new kind of foodstuff that would help the starving colonists of nearby colony (the invention is called Velveeta). But I guess the food thing was just a ruse to get Kirk down there to arrest some actor. The man, Dr. Leighton, is convinced that the star of the play they watched is Kodos, and there is no shaking Leighton’s belief, as outlandish as it sounds (kinda like Mel Gibson). Kirk tells Leighton that Kodos is dead, someone char-roasted him into a blackened heap of potash. However, Leighton’s stubbornness is a little forgivable: apparently during Kodos’s bloody reign, he stole half of Leighton’s face. So, in order to make sure the actor isn’t really a Hitler-esque dictator in disguise (like Robo-Idi Amin), Leighton has invited the entire troupe to his house for a cocktail party (because no actor can resist the siren call of hard liquor.)

Back on the Enterprise, Kirk brushes up on his Kodos history by turning on the History Channel. 20 years ago, Kodos took control of the colony on Tarsus IV and killed half the people there (I guess they opposed prayer in schools or something). Kirk then reads up on Anton Karidian, the actor Leighton is suspicious of, and Karidian is your average Shakesperean player, only nothing is known of him durning the time of Kodos’s reign (then again, not much is known about Sir Lawrence Olivier during Hitler’s reign, so there’s precedent). Kirk compares photos of the two men – and Kodos and Karidian do kinda look like each other (in the same way that guy who works at the Mexican restaurant kinda looks like Saddam Hussein).

Later, Kirk mingles with the other guests of Leighton’s cocktail party and drinks the free booze. Leighton had to make a keg run, though – two of the actor jackasses got into a heated game of Quarters and now there’s no beer – but Mrs. Leighton says he should be back soon (unless he gets DUI’d again.) Lenore, the actress who played Lady Macbeth in last night’s performance, arrives – and Kirk immediately starts laying the mack on her. She tells the captain that Karidian is her father, and he never attends social gatherings (how handy!). Kirk, however, gets bored of the woman’s talking and suggests they leave for a nice leisurely stroll to some secluded area (“Don’t worry, I got a flask of gin on me”). But before the necking can commence, Kirk comes across the dead body of Leighton – an apparent murder. (You can tell it was a murder because boating accidents don’t usually happen in the desert.) Suspicious, Kirk arranges to transport Karidian’s troupe to their next destination (and hopefully catch up with where he and Lenore left off.)

On the journey to Benecia, the actors’ next stop, Kirk looks into Kodos’s file and finds out that everyone who can identify Kodos is dead – except for Kirk and Lt. Riley, who also is from Coincidenceville. Worried that some conflict may occur between Riley and Karidian should they encounter each other, he orders the junior officer to be reassigned back to the janitor’s office in Engineering. Spock is concerned with Kirk’s sudden need for secrecy and voices his opinions to the ship’s surgeon – but McCoy is too inebriated to care. Elsewhere, Kirk and Lenore have wandered into and nice quiet part of the ship, which looks like they’re waiting in line for Space Mountain. Kirk tries grilling Lenore about her childhood with Karidian – but the girl merely resumes with the smooching they wanted to get back to. Up on the bridge, Spock has the ship’s computer compare the profiles of Leighton, Kirk, and Riley for any event they have in common – and again hammers home to the audience what we already know. Spock then relays his discovery to McCoy, and retells the history of Kodos (even though the good Doctor is already an avid watcher of the History Channel): 20 years ago, a fungus destroyed the food reserves for the colony on Tarsus IV (“I wouldn’t say ‘destroyed,’ man, let’s just say that colors seemed a bit more talkative after you ate something.”) Kodos seized control of the government and, wanting to avoid the slow painful death of thousands of people, isolated a portion of them that matched his personal demographic, and executed the rest (you know, like they do on “Survivor”). Sadly, a rescue ship did arrive in enough time to prevent disaster, but not quick enough to prevent Kodos from going all kill-happy. Tracking the dictator down and arresting him proved to be more problematic than anticipated, for only Kodos’s poorly identified body was found.

Meanwhile, Lt. Riley is lamenting his transfer back to the custodial branch of Engineering (“Plus, it smells like someone’s been tanning leather back here.”) Bored and feeling outcast, Riley calls up to the Recreation Room and has Lt. Uhura give him a tune – which gives ample time for a mysterious figure to squirt Formula 409 into his milk. Sure enough, Riley guzzles down his drink and collapses to the floor with renal failure. Back in Sickbay, Spock reminds the audience that if Riley dies, then Kirk will be the next target.

A toxicology report determines that Riley injested a substance called “tetralubisol” – a common lubricant found in the Engineering decks (okay, fine, it’s “water-based”. Jeez you people). Spock is convinced that someone tried to poison the young lieutenant; McCoy only half-so because he’s not all the way sober. The two men confront Kirk about their findings: mostly because it means the captain is a potential target, but also to find out why someone who should know what Kodos looks like, doesn’t seem to have a clue. Kirk admits that he wants to be absolutely sure of his facts before he confronts Karidian – you don’t just go around telling people they’re Hitler, no matter what you find on the internet. In the midst of debating the point further with Spock, they’re interrupted by a humming sound. Knowing that he didn’t leave his vibrator out, Kirk recognizes the sound as a phaser on overload. If the phaser explodes it could take out the entire desk, so Kirk and Spock start searching the room by throwing things around at random. Fortunately, whoever planted the phaser didn’t think too hard on the matter and Kirk finds it hidden in a light fixture. With seconds to spare, the captain shoves the malfunctioning weapon into a garbage chute, where it explodes (killing a group of people just escaped from the detention level and some one-eyed tentacle monster too.)

Now pissed, Kirk confronts Karidian about his past. Karidian deflects Kirk’s questions about being Kodos, so instead the captain tries a different tack: he tells Karidian to recite a passage written on paper into a communicator, an analysis will be done between Karidian’s voice and Kodos’s to detect similarities. The passage is a speech Kodos gave condemning his colonists to death, and Karidian barely had to look at it. Kirk is pretty much convinced that the actor is Kodos and tries grilling him about his past – but Lenore intervenes and tells the captain that dogging on her father is no way to get in her pants.

Back in Sickbay, McCoy records in his log that Riley is recovered (so much so that he’s bouncing off the walls), but Kirk has confined the junior officer so he avoids contact with Karidian. McCoy then ends his log entry with, “Oh yeah, and we think Karidian is Kodos – a murderer Riley witnessed when he was a young boy. I hope he doesn’t hear me saying this out loud.” Riley does, however, and am-scrays out of the medical section to seek bloody revenge, or at least give him a stern talking to.

As the acting troupe put on a performance of Hamlet, Kirk looks over the results of the voice analysis and they are nearly identical, but still have some differences – so either Karidian is Kodos or Rich Little. McCoy checks up on Riley before attending the play, and finds the man missing. Furthermore, the Armory reports a missing phaser. Concerned that he’s no longer the only armed maniac on the ship, Kirk heads to the ship’s theatre to intercept Riley before he does something hotheaded and stoopid. Sure enough, Kirk finds Riley backstage all rearin’ to go John Wilkes Booth on Karidian. Kirk talks the poor kid down by reminding him the safety is still on.

Between acts, Karidian – who overheard Riley talking backstage – tells Lenore about ghosts from his past returning to haunt him. But his daughter dismisses his over-dramatic ramblings (“Not a week goes by when you don’t complain about the past coming to haunt you, father,”) and makes a confession of her own: not only does she know her father is Kodos, but she’s been killing the witnesses they’ve encountered. Unfortunately, Kirk is present to hear all of this and demands the two be arrested. Lenore resists though and wrests a phaser from one of the guards – but insanity does nothing to improve one’s aim and she zortches her father instead.

Back on the Bridge, McCoy reports to Kirk that Lenore is certifiably bat shit insane – she now has no memory of killing her father and thinks he’s still touring. Kirk confirms the diagnosis – adding that he started to doubt Lenore’s sanity with how freaky the sex was.

Things to look for in this episode:

Karidian: Does acting with a capital “A.” I guess this is what John Gielgud sounds like when he’s sober.

Dr. Leighton: Dr. Leighton wears an eyepatch that covers half of his face. We’re told Kodos had something to do with it, but not how. I’m thinking since Kodo’s is the 23^rd century Hitler, then the 23^rd century Dr. Mengele was a plastic surgeon.

Lenore: Proof that Kirk thinks with his dick – Lenore kept dropping all too obvious double-entendres that would make most guys go “Wait a minute, what are you REALLY wanting?” (Listen to her talk about the “surging, throbbing” power of the ship if you don’t believe me.)

What is McCoy not today? Able to maintain a blood-alcohol percentage lower than .3.

And what about Spock? Spock is uber-suspicious in this episode. The way he keeps repeating stuff the audience is already aware of comes off like that one uncle who keeps telling you his theory about what REALLY happened to JFK.