"Cleopatra Jones And The Casino Of Gold" (1975)

Starring: Tamara Dobson, Stella Stevens, Tanny, Norman Fell, Albert Popwell, Caro Kenyatta.

First, the lowdown: Cleopatra Jones is back in her long-awaited sequel!

Ah, Cleo. After kicking ass and taking names in her first movie, she took it easy for a while and then made this shtick. Casino Of Gold (ain’t that a cool title) opens up with undercover informants Matthew and Melvin trying to wrangle a smack deal. Apparently their connection was double-crossing his boss, and they end up getting captured. The boss calls herself The Dragon Lady and dresses like a villain from a Wonder Woman episode. Ordered by her boss, Mr. Roper from Three’s Company, Cleopatra has to dig her nails into the chintzy underbelly that is the 70’s Hong Kong underground. After being spurned by cab drivers and uncooperative miscreants, Cleopatra hooks up with local P.I. Mi Ling. Mi Ling’s brother likes motorcycles, even though it doesn’t look like he has ever seen one before. Cleo’s only connection is a guy named Soo Da Chen; who, after being caught two-timing on Dragon Lady, has made himself harder to find than a whore in the Vatican. At loss of what to do next, Cleo tracks down Chen’s brother and slaps him silly until he spills his guts. Chen hides out at a local billiard parlor (where he has cleverly disguised himself by putting on a hat) and just as Cleo and Co. arrive to nab his drug-peddling ass, Dragon Lady’s homies bust in and yoink him out from under their nose. She tries tailing them in across town, but even after wasting three vehicles and most of Hong Kong’s shopping district (which looks like it was orchestrated completely without stunt drivers), the bad guys still get away. Meanwhile, at Dragon Lady’s Casino o’ Gold, Matthew and Melvin are pulled out of their usual filth-ridden accommodations and given the deluxe treatment by Dragon Lady and her friends. This is supposed to lure them into a false sense of security or something, as they start prancing about the casino in outfits that make Huggy Bear look stylin’. But, before things get too comfortable, she invites Matt and Mel to her private basement chambers to she can demonstrate her fencing prowess (or lack thereof) on the newly captured Chen. After skewering her opponent with the Hibachi style of swordplay, she orders a sanction on Cleo and her pesky friend Mi Ling. Back on the mainland; Cleo gets chewed out by her boss for the shoddy driving a few minutes before. (At least, I think her boss is pissed off; Mr. Roper never seemed like one to get enraged, just mildly annoyed.) We find out that Dragon Lady’s hideout is in Macau, but Cleo can’t go because it’s out of her jurisdiction. (But since we really don’t know what agency she works for, I think the point is moot.) When the assassination attempt on Mi Ling is botched by Cleo’s untimely arrival, the pair say “Screw our jurisdiction,” and jet over to Macau to kick some Dragon Lady behind.

Line of the movie: “About that report: Write it on your ass.” Cleopatra Jones’ opinion of clerical work.

Three stars. Do not induce vomiting.