"Ricky-Oh: The Story Of Ricky" (1991)

(Thirty of these already? WOOT!)

(Originally released as Lik Wong)

Starring: Siu-Wong Fan, Mei Shen Fan, Ka-Kui Ho, Yukari Oshima, Frankie Chin, Tetsuro Tamba

First, the lowdown: A young martial arts student is sent to prison and noogies ensue.

(Quick aside, Ricky-Oh is based on an ultra-violent Japanese comic of the same name written by the same author as Fist Of The North Star. But because this is a Chinese production Riki is instead called “Lik Wong”. To further complicate matters, the English dub changed ALL of the names around. So with the exception of Riki, I’ll be referring to the other characters by their Chinese names.)

In the slightly distant future prisons are run by mega-corporations as profit generating outlets. (Don’t laugh, I hear this isn’t too far off.) Enter Riki, who’s recently sentenced for murder and who constantly has a surly look on his face. He’s not even five minutes into the debriefing process and already causing problems when the bullet slugs still embedded in his chest set off the metal detector. (“They’re souvenirs,” he scoffs.)

Prison life is particularly hard here, as the prisoners find themselves constantly under the thumb of a hierarchy of gangs, dominated by the Gang of Four who defer to the Warden and Assistant Warden. When a Don Knotts-looking prisoner asks low-end ruffian Wildcat not to steal his towel, the gangster conspires with the assistant warden to deny Don Knotts’ parole. Heartbroken, Don gets the snot kicked out of him by Wildcat, who triumphantly walks away - only to be tripped by Riki and get skewered by a board with some nails in it.

Wildcat takes serious umbrage at Riki’s act of defiance, so he enlists the help of Elephant: a walking ZIP code who has a habit of eating his cellmates. Riki punctures Elephant quicker than a set of factory-issue Firestones, an act that catches the eye of the Assistant Warden (a hook-handed evil Buddy Hackett who keeps mints in his false eye. Ick.) Turns out that Riki’s had quite the sordid past, but took a 2 year sabbatical. The gap in Riki’s history has the Asst. Warden suspecting that Riki may be working with the authorities to put the kybosh on the naughtiness going on in the jail.

FLASHBACK! A very preppy looking Riki runs into his long lost Uncle in a graveyard, who teaches the turk Chi Gung: A martial art that enhances ones strength and resilience depending on how well they focus their anger (it also gives the practitioner a grow-a-new-ass ability when wounded.)

And Riki finds plenty of reasons to get pissed here, chief among them finding the prison’s opium farm. In another FLASHBACK we see Riki in cutesy-wootsy bliss with his unnamed girlfriend. While walking back home from work, Unnamed Girlfriend is kidnapped by heroin pushers and faced with sleeping with their older brother. But rather than face that indignity UG leaps out the window to kill herself. Riki confronts the drug lord about his girlfriend’s death and is shot five times in the chest. But that doesn’t stop Riki from tearing up the guy like a pitbull with a sock monkey.

Meanwhile, the Warden has returned from his vacation in Hawaii with his porcine son, and is not terribly happy at the way things have been going – in particular, Riki’s method of self-expression by putting his fist through people’s skulls. Rather than showing Riki alternate and more socially accepted ways of displaying anger, the Warden instead subjects the little cuss to some of the more inventive forms of physical torture and punishment I’ve seen since the Barbara Streisand Film Festival.

This is my favorite martial arts film of all time. The mindless violence, over-the-top gore, and mind-boggling physical displays make Story of Ricky look like the Shaw Bros.’ Flying Guillotine as told by a nine year old that’s eaten too much sugar. The makeup effects are barely passable and only seem to emphasize the cartoony action. (A classic scene has a recently disemboweled man make a desperation attempt to kill Riki by strangling him with his own intestines.) But if you’re looking for realism in the movies, why are you reading this?

Line of the movie: “Enough! We're human beings! HUUUMAAAAN BEEEEIIIINGS!” Like you couldn’t tell with all the innards strewn about.

Five stars. Add water and stir.