"Mudhoney" (1965)

(Get ready for a two-fer today)

Starring: Hal Hopper, Antoinette Christiani, John Furlong, Rena Horton, Princess Livingston, Lorna Maitland.

First, the lowdown: It’s Russ Meyer in all his hellfire and brimstone.

One of the things I always like about Russ Meyer is how he frames his shots. There are quite a few arty scenes in this flick, which is about standard fare for Mr. Meyer. We open with a demented cross between Jim Bakkus and Orville Reddenbacker, who drives a beat up truck and takes meticulous care of his Tony Lamas. He proceeds to kick down the door to the run-down abode of his wife, Hannah; and, without plying her with flowers or booze, rapes her. We cut to Calif McKinney, a drifting ex-con who has the hygiene of a Mormon missionary. He wanders into a suspiciously Californian-looking stretch of Missouri looking for work, and the first thing he runs into is the silent Rena Horten, in trademark open blouse. Rena immediately takes a likin’ to Calif and it looks like naked sweaty things might ensue when we’re jolted back to sobered reality by her bug-eyed, gape-mouthed mother Maggie (as portrayed by infamous Princess Livingston, and if you have difficulty staying awake during the day, just think about her horrid countenance: your sleep will retard for weeks.) Maggie runs one of those houses of ill repute, as they say, with daughter Rena, other daughter Clara Belle, and some guy who looks like Fidel Castro cast as an extra in Green Acres. Because Calif is looking for “work,” he presses on to the Brenshaw farm: owned by, you guessed it, Mr. Tony Lamas and his wife Hannah. Because Tony Lamas is too busy boozing and whoring (which appear to be about the only two things you can actually do in this town), Hannah is left to run the farm with her sickly Uncle. Calif applies for help and is welcomed in, albeit reluctantly: apparently Tony Lamas has an aversion to agricultural efficiency and has bullied or intimidated every hired hand they’ve had. True to his word, Tony Lamas begins needling at Calif while he’s working, even though Calif has easy access to a weapon. (One particularly annoying scene involves Calif digging a hole with a pickax. I don’t know about you, but if I were there, Tony Lamas would’ve been walking away with a sucking chest wound.) Try as the audience might to sympathize with the situation, we see what a wuss Calif is, as Tony Lamas wails on him like a Shriner after a case of Thunderbird. It’s kinda hard to get behind a protagonist who can’t take a punch from a septuagenarian, especially one as whiny and emaciated as Tony Lamas. The sickly Uncle finally ends up dying and leaving the farm to Calif, severely cheesing off Tony Lamas. Tony Lamas enlists in the help of the local Fire ‘N Brimstone preacher, Brother Hanson, to stir trouble among the folk in town to turn ‘em agin’ Calif. Having been exposed to small town culture in my life, small town folks really don’t have much better to do than rumor and brood about something. Things eventually end up with a fiery lynching in the end, but the image I will keep with me forever from this movie is Rena Horton lying in the shade and playing with a black kitten.

Line of the movie: “This town’s always gotta have something to hate.” Sickly Uncle giving some sage advice.

Three stars. Not responsible for theft.